


like a holy

by diors



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 13:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11253642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diors/pseuds/diors
Summary: Minhyuk’s always shone brighter than everyone else; Kihyun was just following two steps behind.





	like a holy

“Lee Minhyuk!” Kihyun shouts, exasperated, smile on his face. “The beach won’t run away. You can slow down.”

They’re seventeen and the summer heat lies thick like a blanket on top of them. Minhyuk turns and flashes him a grin, brighter than the sun. “I want a good spot!” he replies, waving his arms to indicate Kihyun to hurry up. “So, open the doors and come on!”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and tosses the keys over to Minhyuk, who’s already standing by his car. He already knows without looking that Minhyuk caught them.

“I’m driving,” Minhyuk says as he drops their bags into the trunk. “You’re a slow driver.”

“I’m not a slow driver,” Kihyun walks down the front porch, putting his sunglasses on. “I’m a careful driver.”

Minhyuk watches him, hands on his hips. “You’re also a slow walker,” he comments.

“I can turn right around,” Kihyun says, grinning when Minhyuk’s mouth falls open. He steps up to the passenger side and stares expectantly at Minhyuk. “So, are you driving, or not?”

Minhyuk snaps his mouth shut, flashing him a smile. “Of course I am.” He holds open the passenger door, gesturing at the seat with a flick of his wrist. “Yoo Kihyun,” he says, tone grave, smile betraying him.

Kihyun can’t help the grin on his face and gets in the car, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous,” he tells him and Minhyuk salutes him, shutting the door, and walking across the car to the driver’s side. Kihyun watches him, at the sunlight reflecting in his sunglasses, arms swinging by his side, humming to himself.

Minhyuk’s always shone the brightest; Kihyun knows this. And Kihyun would always be following two steps behind.

They’re seventeen, and feel invincible, and maybe Kihyun falls a little bit in love.

* * *

“Kihyun,” Minhyuk gasps out as soon as he feels a hand touch his neck. “Kihyun, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, it's all my fault－”

“Shh,” Kihyun reprimands him, squeezing his neck lightly. “It's not your fault. Stop saying that.”

Minhyuk swallows down a sob, but can't stop the next one, and soon enough he's curling into Kihyun’s side. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, holding tightly onto Kihyun’s shirt. “Fuck－I’m so sorry, Ki.”

The grass is wet beneath them, Minhyuk’s jeans already dirty from kneeling on the ground.

“Not your fault,” Kihyun repeats, like a mantra. “Not your fault.”

Minhyuk hiccups, blinking through his tears. “The others said it was.”

Kihyun clicks his tongue. “The others are mad. They'll get over it.” His fingers travel over Minhyuk’s face, tracing his lips, over the cut on his lower lip, settling on his cheeks. “It's not your fault,” he repeats firmly.

“How are you so strong?” Another sob racks through Minhyuk. “How are you so－You should hate me!” he all but yells, hands fisting into Kihyun’s shirt. “You should hate me, you should be angry and scream at me－”

Kihyun waits until his words have resorted to a blubbering mess of _I’m sorry’s_ and _you should hate me’s._

“Lee Minhyuk.” Kihyun’s thumbs rub soothing circles onto Minhyuk’s skin. “I could never hate you. Not in a million years.”

Minhyuk whispers, “But you're－because of－”

“I know.” Kihyun’s voice falls quiet. “But don't you dare give up now, Lee Minhyuk. Don't give up on us.”

* * *

“Ki,” Minhyuk whispers into the dark. “We’ll always be together, right?”

The glow in the dark stars on Minhyuk’s bedroom ceiling are the only light source in the room. The world is quiet behind the open window.

Kihyun blinks at those words. “Yeah,” he says softly. “‘Course we will.”

“Promise?” Minhyuk asks. “Do you promise, Yoo Kihyun?”

“Lee Minhyuk,” Kihyun says, exasperated, fond. The use of their full names had started when they were kids. “I promise. We’ll always be together.”

“In some way, or another,” Minhyuk whispers, linking their pinkies together.

Kihyun grins and interlaces their fingers. “I’ll always find you.”

* * *

Minhyuk knows the punch is coming.

Hyunwoo had tried to hold Jooheon back from lurching at Minhyuk, but then Jooheon had told him, had said those words, and Hyunwoo had turned to face Minhyuk and he knew; the punch is coming and Hyunwoo is angry, angrier than he's ever been, and he knows that Jooheon went to find Hoseok, who’s standing at the side and doing nothing, and Jooheon had found him and Hoseok had told him, and Minhyuk knows that everyone knows by now.

Even Changkyun and Hyungwon, because they're the group of friends to have no secrets from each other, and usually nothing could break them apart but－

Minhyuk knows that the others know, that he was the one driving, that he shouldn't have been driving, and that Kihyun is now－

He knows the punch is coming, so he closes his eyes and waits.

* * *

“The surgery is tomorrow,” Changkyun says to him. “Are you gonna visit him?”

Minhyuk’s sitting on the steps of the front porch to their beach house, staring out over the field of grass. The ocean waves can be heard in the distance.

“No,” he says. “He doesn’t want to see me.”

Changkyun scoffs. He’s leaning against the railing. “And how would you know? Did he tell you?”

Minhyuk frowns. “I know him. He would never say it, but－” He licks over his lips, casting his eyes down. “He blames me. All of you do.”

“No one does,” Changkyun replies. “Stop thinking that. I know you’re stubborn, but, God, hyung, why would we blame you?” His voice’s gotten louder, angrier, and Minhyuk turns to him in surprise.

“Because I－”

“You drove the car, yes,” Changkyun interrupts, impatient. “We were mad at you because we told you not to drive after it has rained the whole day. The roads were slippery, we all knew it, but you wouldn’t listen. _That’s_ why we were mad.” Changkyun’s breathing hard, mouth pulled into a thin line. “There’s no one to blame. We all forgot our worries and let you and Kihyun hyung get into that car. Might as well blame me, and Jooheon then, too.

“Don’t make this all about yourself,” Changkyun continues. “I know you’re mad at yourself, but－Kihyun hyung needs you. In the hospital. You’re of no use for him here, wallowing in self-pity.”

Minhyuk stares at him. Changkyun stares back. “If you’re gonna slap me for talking back at you, then do it. It was worth it,” he shrugs.

Minhyuk shakes his head, getting to his feet. “What time is the surgery?” he asks.

Changkyun breathes out. “Eight in the morning. You know,” he says quietly. “The doctors said there’s a 60% chance of the surgery succeeding.”

“Numbers can lie,” Minhyuk says. Changkyun’s shoulders slump. “Can you drive me to the hospital?” Minhyuk asks.

Changkyun nods.

* * *

“I don’t like kissing,” Kihyun’s said once, when they were eighteen, sitting outside in Kihyun’s backyard. It’s the summer before they go off to college.

Minhyuk hides his laugh behind his beer bottle. “Are you saying that because you’ve never kissed anyone before?”

Kihyun kicks him in the side and Minhyuk yelps. “I have kissed people before,” he glares at him. “I just don’t find it necessary.”

Minhyuk snorts. “It’s not necessary. It’s pleasure.”

Kihyun shrugs. “If you say so. It’s just not necessary for me.” He tilts his head back, staring at the stars. Minhyuk’s eyes settle on his now exposed neck. “I’d do it to save someone, of course. CPR.”

“Kissing to save someone’s life,” Minhyuk laughs. “That’s a concept.”

Kihyun tries to hide his laugh but soon he fails and they both laugh into the night, alcohol running through their veins.

* * *

“Numbers can lie,” Kihyun says, a day after the surgery.

A day after the surgery failed.

“It’s okay,” Kihyun says and Minhyuk feels like crying.

“I’m sorry.” The words bubble out of Minhyuk’s mouth before he can stop them. “I’m sorry, Ki, I’m so sorry－”

Kihyun’s hand searches for him, travelling up his arm, holding onto his elbow. “It’s okay,” Kihyun says, voice cracking at the end. “It’s－” He lets out a short laugh. “Shouldn’t I be the one crying?”

Minhyuk swallows down his tears. “You should be the one being mad at me,” he says quietly. “Hating me.”

Kihyun’s hand grips onto his tighter. He’s still wearing the bandage over his eyes. The doctors said it will come off soon. “Please let this be the last time I say this,” he starts. He’s shaking, and Minhyuk covers his hand with his own.

“I don’t hate you,” Kihyun whispers. “I could never hate you. Please stop being so damn hard on yourself.” Kihyun slackens his grip but doesn’t let go. His other hand moves to find Minhyuk’s free one and he interlaces their fingers. “For now, I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”

 

* * *

Minhyuk watches as Kihyun steps out of the house, blindfold over his eyes. He glances around him; the others are all watching Kihyun, with bated breaths, anxiety coursing through their bodies.

The lights around them are almost blinding; set up in a circle so almost the entirety of the field is illuminated in the dark.

Minhyuk holds his breath as Kihyun’s hands come up to untie the blindfold. He steps forward, standing a few feet away from him, as the blindfold flutters to the ground, and Kihyun moves his head to the left, the right; listening.

“I’m here,” Minhyuk says.

Kihyun’s head snaps towards him.

He slowly walks forward, hand outstretched, and Minhyuk holds out his own hand, waits until Kihyun has found him, has clung onto him.

Kihyun’s hands on his face feel comforting, his fingers gently tracing over the curve of his nose, his eyelids, stopping at his lips.

“Lee Minhyuk,” Kihyun whispers. “You damn bastard.”

Minhyuk lets out a choked laugh. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees the others disappearing into the house.

“You’re shaking,” Kihyun mumbles, to himself, and one of his hands move down to hold onto Minhyuk’s, his thumb running softly over the back of his hand. “You know,” Kihyun says. “I can make out shadows. Movements.” His eyes blink up at Minhyuk, missing his gaze by a mere inch. He smiles, wryly. “Bright lights.”

“I know,” Minhyuk whispers.

Kihyun frowns when a tear falls onto his thumb, then another. “Please don’t cry,” he murmurs. “Or I’m gonna cry. And you always said I was ugly while crying. You don’t wanna see that, do you?”

“You were never ugly,” Minhyuk shakes his head, trying for a smile. He knows Kihyun can’t see it, but does anyway. “You were always beautiful. You are beautiful.”

“Wow,” Kihyun says, but he’s smiling too. “A compliment from the great Lee Minhyuk?”

“Stop,” Minhyuk laughs through his tears, hiccuping. “You always knew that. I just never told you.” He squeezes his fingers softly. “I should’ve told you more.”

“You’ve told me enough,” Kihyun says. “And here’s something I’ve never told you: you’ve saved me.”

Minhyuk stares at him. “By doing what?” he asks slowly.

Kihyun steps forward, movements slow and calculating, pressing their foreheads together. “By being with me,” he whispers.

“Lee Minhyuk,” he says, a breathy exhale. “Can I kiss you?”

Despite Kihyun’s eyes being unfocused, not moving, Minhyuk nods. Kihyun feels the movement and leans forward. Kihyun’s lips are trembling as he presses a kiss to Minhyuk’s mouth. Minhyuk lets his eyes fall shut; feels himself burning up, feels himself coming undone, knows he’s in love, knows he’s home, knows he’s saved.

 

A kiss for saving lives.

**Author's Note:**

> based, obviously, off the shine forever mv but don't ask me about any confusing details since i have no idea what i just wrote
> 
>  
> 
> [support our boys!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iewWMqeMpqU)


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